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CHAPTER 1:
SUCCESS SPRINGS FROM DESIRE
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“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is
the key to success. If you love what you are doing you will be
successful.” —
Albert Schweitzer
Success is not found out there—success resides
inside, for each of us. You already have what it takes to succeed in
life. You were born with all you need. Your birth certificate doesn’t
come with any guarantees of great success, but at birth you do come fully
equipped with certain talents and abilities, desires and choices. As you
grow, through every age and stage of life, you discover that there are
things you really want—things you now have your heart set on. As you
identify those things and make wise choices, your success is assured.
Stephen R. Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly
Effective People, notes: “If you want to make small, incremental
improvements, work on your behavior. If you want to make quantum leaps in
improvement, work on your paradigms.” A paradigm is your way of
seeing something—the viewpoint from which you are operating.
This book will give you a new paradigm of what
it takes to achieve. When you embrace this new paradigm, it will cause you
to experience quantum leaps of growth and achievement in all areas of your
life. With this new understanding you will move forward, confidently and
quickly, creating the kind of life experiences you want and deserve. You
will leave behind all the wrong paradigms and incorrect concepts you
thought were keys to success but caused you to fail.
For years, I have researched the reasons people
succeed and why they fail. I have concluded that in our quest for
achievement, we typically make 10 mistakes:
1. We don’t know what we truly want. We
live at a wonderful time when we can be, do and have whatever we want. So,
why do so many of us still struggle to achieve the things we want in life?
I believe that the primary reason is that most of us, regardless of our
age, simply do not know what we really, truly want. We only think we know.
It’s very easy for us to know what we don’t want. It’s another
matter entirely for us to know what we do want.
2. We buy into conventional
success methodologies and self-help thinking. We believe that
setting goals, affirming goals, visualizing results, listening to
motivational speakers, and reading self-help books are the answer. We
think that the exercise of writing goals will somehow help bring them
about. But, most goals never happen because they are not true
desires but are merely things that we mistakenly think we want. So, we set
goals that aren’t real to us, and start moving down a wrong path. We may
spend thousands of dollars on motivational seminars. We may buy one
self-help book after another. We may walk on hot coals, punch through pine
boards with our bare fists, or buy tapes that have subliminal hidden
messages, hoping those things will be our “key” to success. We try one
thing after another, hoping this will be the thing to make
us successful. But, again, we are looking for success in all the wrong
places. We continue to put our faith, money, and time into success
techniques and technologies without realizing that they can’t make us
successful. Not only do these things not work, but they also create
negative feelings.
3. We fail to seek or utilize qualified mentors. We
listen instead to the wrong “experts”—to people whose knowledge,
experience, and ability are not aligned with our wants, needs, and
desires. Most of these advisors are well intentioned, but they don’t know
or understand us. They presume— perhaps based on proximity,
intimacy, or psychological assessment—to know what’s best for us.
4. We expect too much too soon. We expect dramatic,
near-term results or perfection from ourselves when we most need to be
thrilled with any progress. Hot-air promotions that promise “fast,”
“instant,” “free,” “easy” and “dramatic” results often inflate our
expectations. Almost every product is sold with a guarantee or promise
that in 10, 20, 30, 60, or 90 days, we will have our desired result.
The popularity of cosmetic surgery suggest that many people don’t want to
wait even 30 days for results, especially if it means submitting to any
real discipline.
5. We fail to seek feedback and make course
corrections—until it is too late (and very expensive). Pride
so often precedes the fall because we simply won’t seek objective
feedback, ask for help, and make adjustments, opting instead to proceed
until we hit a brick wall or have some other traumatic wake-up call.
6. We focus more on what we lack rather than on
the strengths, assets, and resources we possess. When
we habitually compare ourselves with others who allegedly are models of
how we should look, act, think or feel, we tend to see all that we are
not. We only see our deficits and weaknesses—and if we can’t see
them, others are often very eager to point them out.
7. We procrastinate and succumb to paralysis
of analysis. When we are intimidated by the enormity of the task
or the reality of the risk, we tend to do nothing, except endless and
pointless analysis or we make an energetic but futile first attempt.
8. We move forward without a plan or strategy.
Taking improper action makes it easy to be distracted and hard to maintain
our focus on what we need to be doing. Having no plan or strategy makes
every obstacle appear overwhelming and impassable.
9. We lack faith and confidence in our
ability. We doubt our ability to learn, grow, change and become
whatever it takes to achieve our desires. Our doubts destroy our faith and
lead to disillusionment and despair.
10. We quit too soon. We often stop at
the first sign of difficulty, whereas had we gone on a little longer and
exercised a little persistence, patience or perseverance, we would have
attained the prize. When we can’t see the end of the tunnel, we tend to
think that our current condition or circumstance is a permanent state—or
that the light we do see is only the light of an oncoming train.
How many times have we tried a product, plan,
program, or prescribed remedy for a time without experiencing the success
promised? When we don’t achieve the promised success, we often begin to
doubt ourselves. We begin to think we might not have what it takes, that
there is something wrong with us. Worse, we may think of ourselves as
failures.
Then what do we do? Far too often we jump back in and
reapply ourselves to the same techniques that have failed us before, only
this time we “try harder.” We keep repeating this cycle. We remain stuck
in a continuous, self-defeating cycle of effort then failure, because we
embrace a paradigm of success that simply doesn’t work for us. But we
continue to think that it is the answer to our problem. When we assume we
are right about how to get something we want, but we are actually wrong,
we simply travel in circles and become very discouraged.
Incorrect assumptions are the very foundation upon
which many self-help theories and practices are established. And so we
see many people climbing prescribed mountains, only to discover that they
don’t really want to be on that mountain at all. For them, the climb is
always difficult, never fun, and at some point they say, “It’s not worth
it to me,” and quit climbing.
Perhaps for them the thought of reaching the top was
a mere whim, wish, fantasy or dream. Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote: “Good
thoughts are no better than good dreams, unless they are executed.” They
will only be executed if it is something you really want to do or become.
Once you discover what it really takes to
experience success, happiness, peace of mind, and joy—once you discover
the true source of success in all areas of your life—self-motivation
becomes automatic. You will let go of all the techniques and methods you
have been taught about success—those things that don’t and haven’t worked.
For example, I stopped setting goals many years ago,
and I still achieve everything I want and at a very high level of joy and
satisfaction in all areas of my life. So can you, once you learn the
source of all success. Everything I have accomplished I did without doing
any goal setting.
My response to goal setting experts who say that I
should shoot for the moon because even if I miss I will still hit a
star is this: “But I don’t want a star. I want the moon!” What if our
Apollo astronauts were typical goal setters who missed the moon but
settled for some star?
Why settle for less in life when you can learn a
better way to have what you most desire? By telling you to accept a star,
something you didn’t want in the first place, instead of the moon you are
being told to settle for less than what you wanted. Settling for less is
not acceptable.
The Source of All Success
There is a better way to achieve the success you
want—a way that is simple and easy to understand because it is basic to
your soul; in fact, it is the DNA of all success. It is the way people
have achieved success from the beginning of time. It worked before there
were any self-help experts, it still works today, and it will continue to
work in the future. The DNA of Success is a fresh new look at
achievement—a revolutionary concept that clearly identifies the single,
root cause of all achievement. It is the building block upon which
all success is the built.
DNA is the chemical basis for all heredity. The DNA
of personal success is also hereditary. It’s something that we all
possess. Success in anything is a direct result of our DNA. This DNA of
Success has been with us since the beginning of time. It is the cause of
everything that anyone has ever done, or will ever do. Because of it, the
pyramids were built, new countries discovered, men learned to fly and then
walk on the moon. It is the cause of millions of other successes less
dramatic, such as learning to drive a car, run a marathon, or and shoot
par golf.
To accomplish what you want in life with any measure
of satisfaction, you must identify accurately what it is you hunger for,
thirst for, long for. If you were lost in a desert, you would soon become
hot and thirsty. You would do just about anything to get a drink of cool,
clear water. This overpowering thirst is what I call a Core Desire.
Identifying and then wisely, faithfully pursuing your
Core Desire is the one success concept that works every time. This is how
people have created success for centuries—whether or not they were aware
of it at the time. This DNA of Success is the foundation of all
achievement and the source of motivation and power to overcome the
challenges, barriers, and obstacles that exist between where you are and
where you want to be. Any time you succeed at anything you do, you tap
into this intrinsic motivation and internal power.
You don’t have to write down what you want (set
written goals) to achieve your aims in life. Basketball star Michael
Jordan is just one example of someone who did not set written goals and
still achieved greatness. In his article In Pursuit of Excellence,
he writes: “I have the desire to be the best person and player I
can become, but I approach everything step by step. It’s all mental
for me. I never write any thing down. I just concentrate on the
next step. I envision what kind of person and player I want to become, and
I approach it with end in mind. I know exactly where I want to go, and I
focus on getting there. As I reach that level, I gain a little more
confidence. Each success leads to the next one.”
So, Michael Jordan first focused on his Core Desire,
and then he looked for coaches and mentors who could help him. When he
achieved one Core Desire, he moved on, often with the help of mentors. He
continues, “I’m not afraid to ask anybody (who can teach me something)
anything. My attitude is ‘Show me, help me, give me direction.’”
As illustrated in this example, I believe that all
success is as a result of four basic concepts:
First, you accurately identify your Core
Desires. Again, Core Desires are those things you want so badly
that you will do or become whatever it takes to get them, no matter how
hard it is or what the risk or expense is. These Core Desires are things
that your heart is set on—things you want with all your heart.
Second, you unleash a powerful force that lies
within you—the Conquering Force. With this force, largely fueled
by passion and persistence, you can conquer all obstacles in your way.
Without it, you will likely give in or give up.
Third, you find a teacher, mentor or coach to
help you realize your Core Desires and focus your Conquering Force.
Without such assistance, especially in the beginning, you may not gain the
knowledge, master the skills, and endure all the hardships and setbacks
along the way.
Fourth, you apply the conquering force to
different areas to make improvements or overcome challenges in your life.
You move from one Core Desire to the next in order to learn; to experience
growth, improvement, progress and positive change; to become a more
balanced person with the capacity to achieve and sustain success. Rudyard
Kipling (1865-1936), the Nobel Prize-winning author of the classics
Gunga Din and The Jungle Book said it all when he wrote: “If
you do not get what you want, it is a sure sign that you did not seriously
want it.” The corollary is also true: If you seriously want something you
will get it. It is just a matter of time. When you achieve one Core
Desire, you ask, “What’s next?” You discover and start pursuing another
Core Desire.
These steps constitute the DNA of all success. They
also correspond to the different sections and chapters of this book. Start
taking these steps today. You are never too young or too old to begin
moving closer to what your heart most desires.
A Personal Story
Like Michael Jordan, I have achieved everything
important in my life and work without any goal-setting. I never wrote down
that I would be a professional speaker or author of a book
My background would suggest that what I have
accomplished in life is impossible. You see, I was raised on the Navajo
Indian reservation. I was the only Caucasian boy in my high school senior
class. Most Navajos didn’t like me because of the color of my skin and
because of what the Bilagonas (white men) did to their ancestors.
They held a deep-seated anger toward me. Almost daily I was the recipient
of mean, bullying activities because of this anger.
School would let out at 4 p.m. daily. At 3:50 p.m.
every day, my heart would start pounding again because I knew what was
would happen next. As soon as school was out I would be chased by three to
six Indian boys and if caught, get beaten up. Recess and gym class were
also dangerous times for me—from the time I was eight years old to age 16.
I lived in constant fear.
At the end of every school day I would go up to the
teacher and ask if I could leave early to get a head start. Knowing the
situation, they let me out early so I could get a running start.
One day, when I was 10 years old and still in grade
school on the reservation, a Navajo boy my same age put gum in my hair and
slugged me in the mouth. I went home with a fat lip, bleeding and crying.
My mother took me to my father, who was working in an Indian trading post
not more than a block away. My dad believed that if I fought back the
bullies would leave me alone. So he put me in the car, and we went to
where that little Indian boy lived.
When my classmate saw me with my dad, he took off
running. But my dad chased him down and brought him over to stand directly
in front of me. My dad then tried to get me to hit him. “Slug him,” my dad
said. “Hit him back!” The little Indian boy put up his fists, in a boxing
pose getting ready to fight. Remember we were only 10 years old.
I would not hit him. I just stood there with my hands
down at my sides crying. I don’t know all the reasons why I didn’t fight
back, but one reason was that I was simply terrified. So my father tried
another tactic—fear motivation. He said, “If you don’t hit him I’ll give
you a whipping.” Still, I would not hit the other boy, so I got a whipping
from my dad.
After he gave me a whipping, he shoved me into the
car. As he went around the front of the car to get to his side, I heard
him utter these heart-rending words that I can still recall today. While
shaking his head he said, “I can’t believe I have a coward for a son!” He
said that with such disgust that I clearly grasped how displeased he was
with me. I was sure he didn’t like me.
I was a coward. I knew it. My father knew it. The
Navajos knew it. Everyone knew it. I was teased, taunted and mercilessly
ridiculed. I also thought my dad was ashamed of me. I lived in fear and
shame for years.
School was not a good experience for me. I did
poorly. My grades were bad. I was trying to appear okay, to be funny, to
fit in some way, and so I mouthed off a lot. I got into a lot of trouble
with the teachers. Several of them made it clear that they didn’t like me.
They said things like, “You are such a loser.” “You will never amount to
much.” “How can you be so dumb?” “You get worse grades than the Navajos,
and English is a second language for them.” I was sent to the principal’s
office and frequently got bent over his desk and paddled with a board.
When I left high school I was convinced that I was
dumb and a loser. I hardly knew any math because I just couldn’t grasp one
concept before they went on to another. I did not even consider going to
college. I said to myself, “I am not about to pay money to go through that
torture again.” My self-esteem was non-existent.
When I was 19-years-old, I got a job as a milkman. I
hated it. Soon I gave notice that I was quitting. My boss at the dairy
really liked me and offered me the chance to work at his karate studio as
the manager. He said he would pay me a salary and teach me how to manage
the studio. And he would also teach me all the karate I wanted to
learn—for free!
I had lived in fear of being beat up for years and
had suffered the shame of being a coward; so when this opportunity
presented itself, I didn’t have to think about it. I said, “Yes!”
I threw my heart and soul into karate. That is
basically all I did for eight years. I had an intense Core Desire to
defend myself and regain self-esteem. No one would hurt me again, and I
wasn’t going to be a coward any more! I was driven from within to never be
afraid again of any person, to get back at the bullies, and to win my
father’s respect.
My Core Desire was so
powerful that I achieved many of the fighting skills of a black belt. I
became very good at fighting. I was driven from within to learn to fight.
I was taught to fight by some of the nation’s top fighters and learned
fighting skills that were equal to black belt levels.
I loved every minute of
it. My heart and soul was in it. I was injured many times. I had my nose
broken twice. I jammed and sprained nearly every finger on both hands. I
broke my left wrist, broke several toes, badly bruised my shins, and
received many fat lips. Did I love the pain? No! But because this was a
genuine Core Desire, I never quit. This is the awesome, never-quit
attitude that Core Desires bring with them. It’s automatic.
I even entered a
tournament with my wrist broken. I went to my karate teacher, a black belt
and world champion, and told him that I wanted to a fight but that I had a
broken wrist. He asked, “How bad do you want to be in the tournament?”
“Very bad,” was my response. “Then do it. You have other weapons, two feet
and another fist with which to fight. Go in there and do your best.” I did
and lost. But I earned the reputation I longed for—that of being one tough
guy!
Now that I am older, I
know that fighting wasn’t my Core Desire. My Core Desire was to not
be afraid or be called a coward anymore and to win back my self-respect as
well as the respect of my father. Another Core Desire was to be noticed
and looked up to—not just to win fights.
I had no talent, no
self-esteem, no athletic prowess that would suggest that I could do what I
did, or become what I have become, but I did. How can that be? Without
understanding it at the time, I had tapped into the energy and a passion
of a Core Desire and refused to let my past determine my future.
Gratification in
Action
Most people want
instant gratification. The good news is that when you’re pursuing
genuine Core Desires, in most cases you experience constant
gratification. You don’t have to wait to have fun or joy when you are
on the path leading toward your genuine Core Desire.
Having a life in which
everything you do is driven by Core Desires, things you love to do or be,
is the most satisfying and fulfilling way to live. When you embark on the
journey to identify your Core Desires, you will open up a new way of
living—a life where everything that you ever wanted will be available to
you or you will be on the path toward it and loving every minute it.
I maintain you can enjoy
that great feeling in every area of your life—to go through life working
on things you really, truly love or want. There are “have to’s” to get to
your “want to’s”, your Core Desires. If you are dedicated to losing
weight or getting in shape, you know you must exercise, but you don’t mind
this “have to.” Even if it is hard. Only when your “have to’s” lead to an
end result that isn’t a Core Desire are you unhappy.
Core Desires inspire
action. Throughout history, great leaders have rallied others to their
causes and inspired people to accept risks and take action by tapping into
their Core Desires. American revolutionary Thomas Payne revealed his Core
Desire for freedom in his famous statement, “Give me liberty or give me
death.” Most colonists shared that Core Desire. They felt oppressed and
wanted to overthrow the oppressor. The closer a leader’s vision
corresponds with his or her follower’s Core Desires, the greater and more
powerful the leader becomes.
Leaders have followings
because they tap into people’s Core Desires. When leaders fail to tap into
their constituents’ Core Desires, their popularity and influence wanes.
Smart leaders first learn what their constituents want, and then adopt
those concepts as their own. Once they know the people’s Core Desires,
they can promise to help them get what they want.
Most things that are
worth achieving require that you put forth great effort. Usually the more
worthwhile the thing is, the more effort it will require. You won’t put
forth that effort unless you are pursuing a Core Desire.
Yes, there may be many
things you have to do to get to your “want to’s.” To become a doctor, for
example, you have to graduate from college and then from medical school.
But if you really want to become a doctor, you don’t mind that the path is
hard, long, and expensive. Imagine going to college just because it’s what
your parents want for you. Imagine working at a job that you hate just to
get a paycheck that can’t support the lifestyle you desire. Imagine
becoming a respected professional who earns a lofty income and yet after
years of practice feels stuck in a rut or caught in a downward spiral,
wondering, “Why do I still feel so bad?”
That crisis of meaning
often hits after we have experienced some initial success. For example,
athlete Bruce Jenner seemed to have it all. He was the Bicentennial
Olympic decathlon champion who seemed too All‑American to be true, the
Bruce Jenner of the Wheaties box and the Sports Illustrated cover.
But in 1980, by his own account, you would not have recognized him.
In his article “The
Champion Within,” Jenner writes:
I was living in the hills
outside of Los Angeles, in a one‑bedroom bungalow where the dirty dishes
filled the kitchen sink and a dried‑out Christmas tree from the holidays
four months ago sat in a clump beside the door, serving as the only
attempt at interior decoration. I’d lost between 15 and 20 pounds, and
years of physical inactivity had left me looking thin. I probably needed a
haircut but, living alone with nobody to talk to, I would have been the
last to know. I had just celebrated my 40th birthday, and I desperately
needed help. I’d lost all direction in life. I’d lost interest in
business. And after two bad marriages, I didn’t even want to think about
dating. My self‑esteem wasn’t exactly soaring. In fact, I thought I was so
unattractive that I spent thousands of dollars I didn’t have on a nose
job, only to have the surgeon botch it so badly he had to do it all over
again.
Between personal
appearances, my life consisted mostly of golf and learning to play a
rented piano, leaving me lots of idle time. I had $200 in the bank and
debts of about $500,000. My main source of income was talking about the
Games, about how I once was a winner, the man proclaimed the World’s
Greatest Athlete, while valiantly not letting on how much and how long I’d
been losing. For somebody who’d won so much professionally, it was amazing
how much I was suffering personally. I hoped that nobody could see the
defeat and loneliness.
In many ways, I was still
the dyslexic kid who lived in fear of being called upon to get up in front
of the class and read. I was right back where I started: stripped of
self‑esteem, doubting my abilities to make intelligent decisions, and
failing in every area of my life.
I had grown accustomed to
a life without: without intimacy, without excitement, without adventure,
without growth. I was broken as a man. And my medal, the golden symbol of
all that I had won, sat in a drawer, now the symbol of how much I’d lost.
I had given up. I had
lost my will. But once I hit bottom, I remembered someone from my past:
the champion who lives inside each of us, the champion who has the
capacity to stand before the world in victory. This champion would no
longer allow me to live this lifestyle. I saw light at the end of the
tunnel. I realized that I could turn my life around and start anew with a
clean slate. I was reintroduced to the power that I had experienced, but
never understood, so many years before at the Olympic Games. It was a
power that would drive me back to the top. It was the power of the
champion within. This power lies deep within each of us. Deep inside of
us, a champion is waiting, ready to rise and radically transform every
aspect of our existence. I wanted to become the best person, husband,
father, businessman, contributor that I could become.
My life has blossomed
with an amazing ferocity; it was like the angels arrived, the skies
parted, and the seas split, allowing me to run through. I have taken my
gold medal out of my sock drawer and proudly mounted it upon the wall,
allowing it to shine brightly in every area of my life.
For the first time in my
life, I know what love means. I thought that it was something
unattainable, something that I didn’t deserve. Now I know that it is the
seed from which all great things grow. I have discovered that our
performance in life is a direct reflection of the image we have of
ourselves. Now I look as good as I feel. I get up every morning eager to
tackle my day. From loving my wife to having a meaningful relationship
with my kids to being totally fulfilled in business, life has never been
better. Now I’m not merely in touch with my body but also my heart. And
when those two feelings meet, a combustible reaction occurs, allowing me
to enter a realm I never thought possible. Somewhere out there, your
stadium is waiting, filled with all the people you love. They are rooting
for you as you struggle, and they’ll be cheering as you finally come
around the backstretch and finish as a champion.
Jenner’s life turned
around almost the instant he identified his Core Desires. Your life can
also change for the better, just as his did, when you focus on your Core
Desires. You can change your major so you can start enjoying college; you
can change jobs and start doing something that really appeals to you; you
can embark on new career; you can pursue what you really want to do, and
earn just as much or more money in the process. Even if you had to take a
pay cut to change fields and pursue your dreams, you will be glad you made
the move. You can do whatever you set your heart and mind to do.
Don’t believe me? Listen
to this story by Bonnie St. John Deane:
Growing up in hospitals,
in leg-braces, and on the wrong side of the tracks, didn't stop me from
believing that an African-American girl with only one leg could learn to
ski. And as soon as I learned to ski a little, I set my sights on
qualifying to compete in the 1984 Disabled Olympics in Innsbruck,
Austria. Such an outrageous dream, made me stand taller just thinking
about it.
My big break came when an
elite ski academy in Vermont accepted me as a student. For three months I
searched for grants, scholarships, and sponsors to no avail. When I told
the headmaster I couldn't afford the tuition and had failed to find
sponsors. He said, “Come anyway.” I knew this opportunity would change
my life. But then on the first day of the ski school, I broke my leg—my
real leg—while playing on a skateboard. As the only kid there with one
leg, I had so badly wanted to show them I could run obstacle courses, jump
rope, and play soccer. Instead, walking on crutches with my artificial
leg I could barely get from my room to dinner without tripping. Being so
thoroughly inept among a crowd of super athletes hurt more than my
injuries. At night I cried in my pillow to keep my roommate from hearing.
Although the doctor
removed my cast after six weeks, my luck did not improve. One week later,
my artificial leg broke in half. When you think things can't get any
worse, you're wrong. For three weeks my new prosthesis roamed the
country, lost in the U.S. Postal Service.
Years later, standing on
the winner's platform in Innsbruck, Austria, as the silver medal was hung
around my neck, I could hear the National Anthem playing and see the Stars
and Strips fluttering behind me. The desire for that moment had pulled me
through all the tough times.
Do you have a powerful
desire that captures your heart and picks you up when you fall down? Who
or what motivates you? When I am asked that question, I must answer, “I
motivate me.” For any project you are working on, you can increase your
motivation by finding bigger payoffs that have more meaning for you. In
all cases, “things” are less important than what those things mean to you
personally. List everything you have ever wanted to have in your life: new
clothes, vacations, ideal relationships, peak experiences, career
accomplishments. Star items that excite you. Find the deeper meaning. Ask
yourself, Why do I want it? Dig underneath to find personally compelling
reasons. Dig down to find out what you want out of life. Like a little
child, keep asking yourself why? If the final answer is, “I should,” or
“My boss wants me to,” scratch it off your list or change it, expand it,
aim higher. Stop underestimating your odds for success. Err on the side of
optimism. Spend less time around negative people. Learn from people who
have done it. List your resources and act. Don't feel you have to do
everything at once. You can get there. Do what you love!
Bonnie’s story doesn’t
end on the winner’s platform at the Olympics. Since then, she has
motivated myself to finish degrees from Harvard and Oxford, to win a
Rhodes Scholarship, to win awards as an IBM sales representative, and to
garner high praise as a White House official on the national Economic
Council.
Again, it all starts by
knowing what you really want. Don’t get trapped by your present
reality—what you have or how effective you are at the moment. People who
are immersed in a present reality often think they “know the truth” about
it. But they don't.
When you find your Core
Desires, your “emotion needle” will go clear off the chart. Those are
things you’ll want to focus on. When you really want something, you’ll
amaze yourself at you will do to get it. Nothing will stop you once you
uncover a Core Desire that taps into your Conquering Force. When you
uncover a Core Desire, you’ll talk to people who have achieved success in
that field. For example, if you want to be a great salesperson, you’ll
interview top salespeople and implement what they share with you. If you
want to be a great parent, you’ll interview the parents down the street to
find out how they created such great kids. You’ll do all this and more,
because you want something very badly.
When I was a teenager, I
lived in the middle of the desert in Arizona where there wasn’t enough
water to wade in let alone scuba dive, and yet I wanted to become a scuba
diver. In fact, when I was 17, I saved enough to buy all the scuba gear I
needed from a used equipment store in Farmington, New Mexico, 130 miles
away. However, it wasn’t until 18 years later that I actually learned to
scuba dive and became a certified scuba diver. I maintain if it had been a
Core Desire, I would have learned this skill by age 20. But my interest
did not become a Core Desire until 18 years later, when I finally learned
this sport in the spectacular Grand Cayman Islands.
What you will become or
achieve will be a result of the Core Desires you uncover, the mentors you
choose to learn from, and the choices you make.
Successful people invest
in themselves through a continuing quest for knowledge, understanding,
wisdom and truth. When you invest in yourself, be sure you invest first in
your Core Desires. You will then see a much greater return on your
investment, not only in greater satisfaction but also in improved
productivity, enhanced social relationships, and greater earning ability.
There’s nothing like learning all you can about something you really love,
your Core Desires. Learning about them will start an important chain
reaction that will work in your behalf.
In her article in
Personal Excellence, Oprah Winfrey advises, “Create the highest and
grandest vision possible for your life because you become what you
believe.” She then tells of her desire to celebrate the dreams and help
fulfill the desires of women in need. She asked women to write her and
tell her their wildest dreams. She received over 77,000 letters. She
writes: “To our disappointment we found that many women had such small
dreams for their lives that we had a difficult time coming up with dreams
to fulfill. Some women said, ‘We just want to see you, Oprah.’ That was
their life dream! Imagine! I said to them, “The lesson you need to learn
from this is to dream a bigger dream for yourself and believe that it can
come true.”
Daniel Hudson Burnham
wrote: “Make no little plans; they have no magic to stir men’s blood.”
Core Desires are the only things that stir our heart, as I’ll discuss in
the next chapter.
*** End of Chapter
***
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Table of Contents:
Part 1 - Core Desires: The basis
for all success in life . Discover what are they and how to discover what
yours are.
1) Success Springs from Desire -- (You can read it below)
2) Heart-Set over Mind-Set --
3) Identifying Your Core Desires --
Part 2 – Conquering Force: Tap into
your Conquering Force to accomplish whatever you truly want in your life.
4) The Conquering Force Within You --
5) The Success Attitude --
6) The Special Force of Mentoring --
Part 3 – Application Areas:
Discover how to apply the powerful concepts in the previous chapters to
every area of your life.
7) Creating Great Family Relationships --
8) Achieving Your Financial Desires --
9) Enhancing Your Self-Image --
10) Cultivating Social Relationships --
11) Improving Your Mind --
12) Engaging Your Spiritual Being --
Conclusion: The Growth Imperative
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